Eternal love

Every woman, even the least romantic, believes in eternal love.

But does eternal love exist?

I often see long-term married couples who show signs of exhaustion towards their partner. I don’t know if I’m biased, but it seems to me that this “intolerance” towards the partner is more pronounced in men.

Maybe because we (at least those of my generation) we all feel like a Red Cross nurse ready to take care of our husband and any children. So our job is to make sure that they have eaten, that they have worn the heavy sweater because it is cold, that they can find the socks that have been in the same drawer for twenty years, but they haven’t yet understood it.

It is true that time is a very bad friend who tends to calm the enthusiasm and reveal what had the charm of the unknown.

But is it possible that after so many years of marriage our partner has nothing more stimulating? Or that our marriage has become a cage from which we want to escape?

Compared to when we decided to continue our journey together, our responsibilities have increased. From young enthusiasts we have become mature, but we have enthusiasm. At least we should.

Personally, I need my partner to thrill me: for the things he says, for the things he does, for the attentions towards me, for the fact that he is there.

If I still don’t get emotional, despite the 25 years of marriage, it would be difficult for me to live near a person who is indifferent to me. Because the thing that I cannot accept is indifference, disinterest: it would be like becoming invisible.

Instead each of us (women) is important and we must never forget it and remind it to the partner.

…and they lived happily ever after

If you are in love with your partner and you want to keep the flame of love burning without being overwhelmed by the routine, there are some suggestions that I found interesting.

– Having personal interests and cultivating them is a great way of expressing ourselves in something we like and creating curiosity and interest for our person.

-Travel together, discover new places, eat in different restaurants, taste dishes that are not part of our daily life is a way to exchange feelings and keep alive our curiosity.

-Read a book and offer it to your partner to know what hit him and what feelings he experienced reading it.

-Don’t let go, always treat your person trying to keep fit.

-Don’t ever miss cuddles, attentions and caresses that fight stress and make us feel loved.

-Be indulgent towards the partner in small things (this is one of the suggestions that I should keep in mind).

The neighbor’s grass is not always greener

Often the routine, the boredom, the fear of old age, lead to the search for a new partner to try again the emotions that seem dormant or lost with the person we have close.

In this ,Facebook is a great help, but not always what seems more palatable then it is in reality. I know women (and men) who, having fallen in love with adventure, have given up their husbands to follow the new flame which then proved to be a person who didn’t completely complement them or who gave up as soon as they separated.

Women who carry the anger and sadness of disappointment, women who are not happy.

This morning searching articles for this post I read an interesting article (Elle).

A woman at the threshold of middle age, feels tired of her life: work, husband, children. she knows a man older than her on Facebook and meets him in another city. Man is beautiful, gallant, elegant and very captivating with words. Some of these resonate in her mind in the following months maintaining high levels of hormones and sexual desire.

They meet again and she invites him to her room, but what must have been a night of fire turns out to be a night next to an impotent man. After few months, always in contact on Facebook they decide to meet again, when she goes to pick him up at the station she’s hard to recognize him. What she had dreamed of for several months and had held up her libido, looked with a less enchanted eyes, looked like an old man. End of illusion.

 I don’t want to discourage people who feel they have other stories, life is one and should be lived in a satisfactory way. And if your partner is a careless partner or a person who tends to diminish you, then you are right to look around.

Perhaps it would be better to give voice to our passion and then, when we are satisfied, create opportunities for possible meetings …

Caresses and kisses: lost pleasure

Rita Palazzi
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